It had been a week full of turmoil and emotional roller coaster. But hey, it's not about me. First it's the kids' posters day. Looking at them, being gancheong for them. Some get heck-cares by mentor. Some heck-care themselves. I must have looked like one of them last year. Before I turn my back and jump into the abyss anyway. While being around for the kids, I started to reminiscence. About how things were one year back. And how things are now. Anyway in the end everyone survived. And hooray! But none of my business since none of them is my student anyway.
Then here comes my CA. I have nothing to talk about this actually. Just read through go through take CA. Yahoo. Won't fail I guess. And oh yeah, the stats assignment. I'm not done with it yet. Sigh.
And at this time of the week you'll think that everything is going really well, right? With the long weekend creeping in. And I thought the ambience in lab was really amicable this week.
I realised I can't write a word. About how I feel. Because the whole thing is really none of my business and no big deal. But I feel so shit, so shit, that I don't have any adjectives to describe my feeling. So I use a noun, shit. I feel like a pile of dung. Shit. Feces. Excrement. Whatever. But all I remember and all I know is I did nothing to deserve this. But here comes those optimists, it's not about you, you know. People make their own choices. You know they said when you meet with shit stuffs outside, you could go home. But not for me eh? I'm too scared to go home. Because going home always disappoints me. But guess what, staying right here disappoints me to the core too.
But hey, I learnt something. It doesn't matter if you stop expecting stop asking anything from a person. Sometimes your mere presence irks the person. What can I ask for really? Friendship is the most worthless thing ever, because it doesn't mean anything, it doesn't give you right to feel anything, it isn't bound by anything, promises, whatever. Anything. So when we could choose the role we want to play, being a douche suddenly seems to be the best idea ever. Because whatever.
